xenia's earth

TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

If you love what you are doing
You would not regret
or feel upset
or simply would not care
when you have failed to achieve the best or even winning
What you have learned
is the passion and dedication
that you have put into the effort
makes you who you are today
A better person.

When you have learned
you have already combated fear
accepted criticism
stood up to defend
managed your time
took oppurtunities
learned from msitakes
sat patiently
spoke confidently
communicated efficiently
and thought rasionally.

my boyfirend has given me an assignment almost two weeks ago.write a rencana/article about the Forbidden City in Beijing, China. his company bos is his practical place asked him to write sumthing and if its good, he might take him in to work in the publishing company after practical.dats good you know.coz th things he do are really interesting and he gets to go on field trips to do interviews and all.

the only thing for me is i Havnt Started Yet!i only browsed and saved info from two website so far.i still have to read it.Guma said i just simply do hentam-hentam in BM coz he will ahve to translate it to Bahasa Iban (the company is a publishing magazines in Iban).he has problems going online coz the office uses the normal dial-up and is very slow.plus, it is only connected to one computer in ths office.

everyday he reminds me.but the whole last week i was sick so couldnt do anything.this week...malas;p anyway, i hope he will get the job.he sounds tired of reminding me to help him oredi.so better do the favoe for him.since i am jobless.then i can have a reason to go to Bintulu in the future!yay!

time is very important nowadays for me coz i havta get eenough sleep and wake up on time and go to clas on time. eat on time(although i dont really care but my stomach hurts if i dont). do assignments early. spend time with assignment group members. revise math. revise HCI. revise CB. revise software enginerring. revise www. revise distributed multimedia systems. make letters early for pgk. date on letters shoulndt be redudndant. running numbers for letter's rujukan should be redundant. spend time for myself. having time to exercise. having time to sociallize. walk fast. eat slow. sleep enough. call often. waste no energy. remember proposal project I. gantt chart for final year project have to be reviewed again. hantar assignment! quick, you're late! run, its raining! apa ni? buat lagi! don't forget to wash clothes since its a sunny day. quick, get the clothes, its raining. dont forget meetings. pay up! times up!

i'm down with the flu.woke up tis morning with stuffed nose.i had runny nose whn i was brushing teeth dat i had to stop brushing to blow/wipe out the runny nose.so watery.hehe.then finished brushing quickly before another runny comes.washed my sore eye(from the nite before my eye itchy/pain duno y,so i one tutp satu mata to relax the other sore eye).my eyes penuh dgn taik mata hahahha.mcm i cry in my sleep,so many 'excess' tears.blew our a handfull of watery runny nosy stuff.till now when i'm typing tis i still have stuff nose.

my right pointy fingernail has separated from the isi.dunp why it happened or how it did.before naik gunung oredi like dat but terjadi teruk coz i sorta drag my hand on the railing on the way down so the nail semakin separated.now the skin in all peeling off from the finger.can see the difference with my left ointy finger.looks like the right finger punya nail is soooo much smaller and oso looks like kena bitten off.haha.sounds and look gross.showed hallet my finger and she went "yerrr" and vane went "hey u are the doctor u shouldnt be grossed out".hehe....so much for "isi dengan kuku" peribahasa.

heh its 1:06 AM on my laptop clock on May 03, 2005....its my bday!haha...legally can vote oredi;p dui gia i dun feel old anyway.hahahah...wishes are coming through my hp now till its "No space for messeges" coz i keep all those msges yg nice nice from ppl;) so terpaksa i delete a few to allow the incoming messeges.

mummy's gonna have the catholic women's league rosary prayer at home today at nite.it's house-to-house punya prayers every two weeks.its was suppose to be my home's turn last week but there was another church event on the same day, so posponed it a week later, which is on my bday ngam2.so mummy ordered a cake(i didnt ask for it actually) from one of the group members.i dun tink those ppl coming for the prayer willknow its my bday(i hope) coz i'll be very shy...haha...

i have this thing for tagalog songs dat i get influenced from those philipino tv series.sumtimes make me teared even tho i dont understand the meanings for it but the melody and music is so nice!i am kumpuling tagalog songs nw..hehe..pangako sayo, sana'y maghintay walang hangan, bituin,ngayong nandito ka, etc..

i oso like listening to those korean, thai and japanese.i dun actually look and read the subtitles tho.sumtimes i just listen to the actros speaking their language.but watching too much of these kind of tv series, u should be able to pick up some of the language, but i dont;p alunannya i like.

and when during my climb up mt kinabalu and the guides berabis talk all the way(all in dusun or course), i just listen to them even though i dont understand everything.i just like to hear ppl talkingtheir language without intereuptions.like they are Really engrosed(sp?) in their talks.but here and there i do understand some of it and one of them(the subject) was 'mengumpating' abt me...haha..so terang benderang they were saying(in dusun) 'dat girl is not sumandak, she is 32 years old'.and the other guides go 'really??'. then i turn to look behind and the guide asked me(in bm) 'u not sumandak anymore right?ur like 30 years old ++ kan?', i was like 'manada!sia lum bulih mongundi lagi la!21 pun blum!'.the the guide go 'bukan ko 32 tahun ka?dorang bilang ko 32 tahun'.i say 'bukan.baru 20 la'. and they went like 'wahhhh!!'.'kalu gitu sia baru 40 tahun tau'muda lagi kau tuh!'...haha..there's more but i cant remember much of it.

funny(or is it?) that i only can 'afford' to listen to chinese(mandarain,cantonese, hokkien, hakka) and kadazan or dusun, just enough to recognize words and phrases but Not to speak any at all.but when i do, i get all mixed up(especially chinese, i mix all the dialects) or pronouce wrong.if for kadazan words, it'll be different for papar and penampang.so most ppl i meet are penampang, they will be going "wat r u saying??"..i just say "dats wat my mum and other papar ppl sat wat".dusun language can be related to kadazan coz its more or less the same only certain pronouciation and spelling are different.it is hard for me now to learn both chinese n kadazan as ppl get to know u are sino-kadazan..heh "the sasat".b coz didnt speak since small.not qite used to it now if my mum 'try' to speak to me in kadazan coz i'll neverpick up.if since small maybe lar i can pick up coz dats wat u grew u wt kan.its just wierd whn ppl go "Wah!" when they knwo u onl speak english at home.really.i dun speak much bm unless wt outside ppl.

the only other language that i am confident at is only french, since i took 4 levels of it in uni.level4 is considered advanced oredi.but unfortunately i can only read and write better than speaking it.and i can listen to it but not exactly translate the whole thing if ppl say.haha..my cousin(who studied in france) tried to speak to me in french i am hopeless!!hah..need more practise speaking(either french bm or english)coz i suck at spekaing everyhing pure, as in no other campur campur laguages in it.

nxt step might be japanese maybe;p who knows, i might be a tour guide or sumthing...haha

omg now i JUST REALIZE that the yahoo mail space has expanded to 1GB!!!!the last time i chkd was 250MB ja..i remember the days when emails were only 2MB of space...or was it 20MB(?).dat time owez terpaksa dlete all those picture yg friends sen coz if not no new emails can masuk!i remember the days when i Tersubscribe to 'the moffats' fans newsletter(?) that every other reply or comment to an issue is sent to all members.crzy i has to delete my emails a few timea days until kenot tahan i 'unmember' myself despit the craze for moffats news.dum days...hahah...and now i tink they resolve emails to 1GB in space to allow users sending pix and videos.damn technologies!so fast in a split of seconds.dats y i cant live in this 'computer tecnology' even i am bloody learning it.last years books can be lapuk the following year.i dont know how i am gonna live in this tech world but i am definitely trying to sqeeze my self and exert myself til habis the degree and buat suat anjakan paradigma to another line!!i cant wait!seriously!i can even stop now but the bloosy scholarship needs me to work it off;pppppp maybe i'll turn myself into exile to avoid the 'hutangs' and taxes.i'll be org hutan tehn...hehe...no need to pay taxes!hahaha..crazy work but it might happen!;p

woke to the sound of ringing of my hp. an unknown number again.tis time not a hp(or the unknown guide) but a public phone(i tink) coz the two last numbers add up equals to 11(normally dats the format for public phones. it was 088889574.7+4=11.most probably Is the guide coz he missed called earlier before using the public phone.wierd number coz so many 8's.must be from 'upthr'.i didnt answer tho coz was too sleepy to talk.a few times dat he tried to call i just leave it ringing under my pillow.then he sms saying sori for the late reply n concerning abt d guide's jacket say i could gv the jacket back whn i hv time to go kk.I was like "i AM in kk" or mayb he meant that whn He hv time go kk(?).

i finally asked properly 'number siapa ni?'. then he smsd back 'its mr. Billy'.so CONFIRM la its HIM!!..haiyoo.. then we smsd a few time before he actually said 'ko bila naik lagi...Rindu la'..i was like????toled him 'mana bulih u mcm ni oh.buat kerja bagus2 la.mau naik nanti tp bukan masa terdekat'. no reply. hah!at the mean time he was in d middle of work.bringing 2 org putih.forgot to ask going up or down.he said any time can still layan me if on hp.hahahahha... so much free time ka.

but i can see the guides all the way dont do much.only to help if the climbers get difficulty.of not they will just sit down and catch up with the climbers coz they Are Really Fast. my one hour walk down can be catched up by them in 5 minutes coz those guides practically jump or hop down hill.going up in like a cheetah.

anyway, i tink tis billy has sumthing in his head.hinted me a few time when we were jouneying up and down.i was just being friendly talking to him and other guides.i tink he got 'jelous' coz i was talking to two other guides from another group whn i was walking alone up to the peak.quite a while i talked and asked them take my pix.that time billy was not anywhere to be seen.then suddenly he came out of no where n joined me back.then the two guides yg 'kacau' me went to join their own group.then billy was like 'kau kenal ka dua org guide tu?jgn cakap sma dorg.dorg bukan baik punya'. i was like being friendly only wat.just talking.they were 'trying' to berkenalan,i as usual kinda jual mahal but i do tell them general stuff like wat i'm doing and where i'm from.they couldnt pronounced my name even tho its sooo short and simple.they oso did not believe my name was 'xenia';p

anyway,i duno wat else i can do now since he got my number.i tink i'll just be friendly.mayb nxt time he be the guide again for my nxt trip.dats like so rare coz there r so many guides working in national park.if i do go from mesilau, he wont stumble upon the group i'll be going coz he's not based for mesilau trail....oh btw, he Can speak english.quite well tho but he doesnt speak much.i know dat he didnt want to carry my bag or carry me down coz the other guide for my group did asked him but he didnt want to(in dusun of course), still thinking i wasnt listening or dun understand.he is like telling things to the other guide,saiun,in dusun to tell me wat to do padahal he can just tell me strait;p dum. he is quite well equiped.he lent me his head torch(too big i drop to my neck) for the climb coz i was holding my won torch in my hand at the same time i was using my hand to climb up the peak.so we exchanged la.but he just kept mine in his bag anyway.i dont tink he needed it tho.then i asked for the time(my watch was in my jacket, under my windbreaker.malas i wana take out),his watch was the one with blue green light and with alarm and all.and he has his Own digital camera.he took his own pix of the peaks.i'm not surprised if he did try to take my pic quietly coz i did hear clicking sounds behind me when i was descending.he is from kg kiau.just at the foothills of the mountain.can be seen from the peak i tink but i didnt pay attention to it.

mummy's bday
oso bry's bday.smsd him to wish.then later met him online and chat wif him a while.he was just abt to get to bed.i know i shouldnt do it coz i 'vowed' nvr to chat wif him but i did anyway.one wont hurt right?

mummy n pp stayed home coz on leave(?) and finished up theri income tax stuff.this thingy for all working malaysians to isi borangs abt their gaji and all for jabatan hasil dlm negeri.the floor was swept(finally) n mummy said so byk my hair on d floor.apa tidk gugur mah.but not long after,got sumore again on d floor coz my hair does drop even tho i touch it to 'comb' it;p

went out for dinner at Atlantis seafood restaurant at jalan bundusan near beverly hills.its a new restaurant.the place used to be golf view restaurant, then SB restaurant(owned by sugar bun) then atlantis.a cawangan of the restaurant i ate for dinner after the climb.fish, crab, prawn, sayur manis, dessert:jelly. i like the fish best.penat wanna coz have peeal off the prawn skin and crack open the crab shell.i tink took abt 30 minutes just to open and eat the crab.

went to hotel promenade to collect sum baju that the climbing group member forgotten in the room.then smsd 'the guide' telling abt the jacket left in one of the uncle's bag.no reply.i still had no idea which guide punya number was it.

24apr sun:
didnt go church coz could barely walk, even to the bathroom. Finally woke up(after waking and dozing off over and over again) at abt 12.30pm to find that I have an sms from and unknown number.mummy recharged my hp and told me my hp full off msges until no space. The ‘unknown number’ aksed me how was my legs and wether I did go pray that day.i didn’t reply.then 2nd msg from same person asking how was I and hows my leg wether its still hurts. Then I guessed, its probably from the guide who carried me down, but how the hell did he get my number.he oso did miss called or maybe trying to call me coz my hp did ring quite a long time.(normally I just leave it coz I know it’ll probably be Jeremy or guma miscalling). i smsd back asking who was it and how did he gt my num.no reply.then I chckd my record for ‘dialed number’ and found out that the ‘unknown number’ was dialed at the time I was going down gunung.so must have been the guide definitely but I duno which one. Seems like when they asked me to take out my hp from my pocket(coz susah carry with the bulged at my side pocket of my pants) they managed to switch on my hp just enough battery for them to dial his own hp number from my hp to get my number. Smart guides.and pretty high tech as well.hehehe..y he did it? I do not know but I do realize he does talk abt me(in dusun of coz) wt the other guides abt stuff he asked me or stuff I told him. Haha..like I do not know know they are mengumpating me coz I do understand bits of dusun leh;p

papa went to the hotel and airport to send off the senior citizens.they called caz wanna give us sumthing.i wanted to follow but i sakit kaki(duh).papa came back with a plastic bag of one of the guides jacket left in uncle rev.bro.stepehn ooi's bag.i didnt open the plastic bag but i knew who's jacket it was oredi, sayun.coz he did tumpang to put his jacket in that uncle's bag on the way up the mountain oso.

anyway, jer oso smsed coz he said he worries abt me.asked me how I was. Said sumthing abt PRICE, protect, rest, ice, compress, elevate.didnt know what was it until I read the Sunday’s The Star newspaper featuring rawatan for sakit kaki. Wah what a coincidence.i didn’t finish reading it tho;p

23apr sat:(warning: very LONG)
wake 1am.terpaksa coz all in the room insisted on waking up dat early.actually its too early.ate buffet breakfast.the toaster was on fire(!) whn a guy toasted his bread).i tink too long toasting but the setting was '1'.so whn i toasted mine, i wait a while n turn to '0' to turn if off.lots ppl took bfast as well.got ready at headed for the entrance up the peak(kena pagar coz dulu got case org putih pandai2 sendiri naik and duno d way).the temperature was 3 degrees celcius.

was kinda in the front in the group on the way up the peak.kinda fast oso coz leave early.damn cold.but same cold like last time oso.i tot it would be very freezing.was already sweating one quarter way of the stairs up the peak.reached sayat-sayat hut 4.30am.still early.purposely go slow from the hut to the summit plateau to the peak.coz i dun want to sampai too early at the peak when its still dark and cold(and traffic jam ppl wana reach).peak at 6am.quickly took pix coz so many ppl thr.

took lots pix of scenery tho. was slow and sleepy all the way down coz not enough sleep for 2 days and kinda hungry coz didn’t eat on the way up. The guide even say he kesian c me going down so slow;p dwn to laban rata abt 10.30am.the last one down coz i didnt hurry down.I Hate Going Downhill.(i can climb up another 10 time but not down.) at lunch.papa tried to hurry me up.i blum lagi 2 minutes sit down oredi asked me to quickly pack coz wanna leave very soon.gilaka!and oso aked me to tapau the fried rice he ordered.coz the other uncles odi makan habis their mee/meehoon.duh!kena masak together wat.mine later on.so sakit perut.mcm constipation.but i makan oso coz i knw i will be hungry on d way dwn.left at 11.30am.

went down very slow coz my knee pain(pain started since the peak).all those behind over took me.i was practically limping down all the way.+headache+ stomach ache+ eye sore+ muscle pain+ back pain(heavy bag pressure)+ sleepy(not enuf sleep 2 days)+ hot+ sudden chill.....the guides (again) asked if they want them to carry my bag but i say no, but last2 i let them angkat oso coz my knee was killing me oredi.then they asked i mau minta angkat turun.is said no again coz its not neccessarry.i dun mind getting down late.i wanted to do it on my own.was walking wt down wt uncle finton ooi(group climber as well).he smsing all the way down.them he got a call from the other climbers yg suda sampai.asked me to hurry but he told them i sakit kaki.so they said suruh the guide angkat me turun.terpaksa la kena angkat last last.coz they are rushing for time.mau go makan seafood.but the bag was already wt them.might as well alang2 carry me down.the guide,marius said 'kan bagus dari td kau kena angkat lagi cepat turun.the three guides carried me ganti-ganti.so reached timpohon gate in 30 minute.if i did it on my own, it would another 2-3hours.they started to piggy-back me down at abt 5.30pm.

once arrived(by the van) from timpohon gate to the national park front desk office, most of the uncles waiting crowded around asking me how was I, apa sakit, asked to go make a visit to penang and give them a call when I do.sheesh…I didn’t say a proper goodbye to the kind guides who jaga me all the way of the trip, carried me down. Do not know y papa only paid them 50 to share 3 of them.i could have paid more coz they ALL carried me and also angkat my bag down halfway.ah well..i guess the situation of me being crowded by the old people didn’t give me a chance to even go approach and say a Big THANK YOU to the guide!went to the bus and took off my shoes and socks…fooooff..wat a relief! To finally stretch and relax my feet and legs.took panadol and slept all d way to kk till hotel promenade.taxi home.a quick bath and off to portview restaurant(at waterfront) for seafood dinner.i didn’t want to go bah but terpaksa coz all of them were expecting me to come.sheesh..they Should be gratefull that they Did get to eat their bloody seafood dinner bcoz of me. IF I didnet let the guide carry me down, they could have starved till midnight. Got my certificate in a ‘convocation ceremony’.all the men were given a kiss by the auntie Irene and the ladies by an uncle.hahha…funny thingy though but everyone was a sport.

Sent back the two brothers, uncle finton ooi(the one who walked down wif me) and his elder brother, rev. bro. Stephen ooi. Got their stuff from the hotel(they tumpang a friends room to clean up) and sent them to the la salle brothers house in tg aru. Slept immediately once got back home.

22apr fri:
(happy bday dean!sori didnt sms u up thr.could hv told u evrythng)
breakfast at balsam restaurant.buffet.but i oni took creal coco-crunch.didnt eat much.got my climber's tag.my name-->Yenia Ooi.quickly went bck2d registrar to correct it for the sijil later.bus to timpohon.started abt 8.30am.photo wt buddy/partner:mr foo fook ming(didn know his name at first until ppl calls his name).pix all d way up.carried my bag all the way up(dats a record coz i didnt carry my bag the last 2 climbs).the guide wanted to help me angkat my (big) bag coz kesian nampak me carry it.but i say no.made friends wt one auntie of d group.a dentist from s’pore,mrs ester.reached laban rata in 5 1/2 hours.a record!(last time was 5hours++ too but without carrying my own bag).shared mee soup and milo wt auntie ester and crita wt her.temperature was 13 degrees celcius.waited the rest of the group.chkd in my room in laban rata resthouse(!).was supposed to gt d gunting lagadan but i dun want so the other from d group went the instead.heated room.got bottom bunk.rested.dinner buffet,not so nice unlike 2004 trip, i ate a nice portion of lamb chop!and its buffet!tis time the lamb chop is so hard, karassss, like kena fried and then baru tambah kicap.but the time i ate was oredi late oh.so didnt eat much.pix of sunset.slept uncomfortably again.shared room with 7 others.all snore.(!!!!)

21apr thur:
uncle maurice sent me, mummy, and papa to promenade hotel to meet wt half the group and boarded the bus from there.fetched another half from the airport who just arrived.as more of the old ppl boarded the bus,the environment gets Very noisy.imagine all more than 30 senior citizens talking at the same time.very noisy! stopped by at tamparuli for lunnch(i didnt eat pun, only ais kacan, neither did i ate breakfast.didnt wat to eat much coz i know naik bus mmg make me headache, giddy, watever...).the group conquered half the kedai makan to eat tuaran mee.slept all the way up to national park.luckily i sat along.if not ppl will b talking to me and i Have to pusing kepala to talk;p

stayed at challets across the hostel i stayed in 2003 wt the kik matrix group(in 1st trip mt kinabalu).booked 7 chalets.my challet was the double storey.got 3 rooms, one bath, kitchen, living rm, dining rm.ate the mee mummy cooked for breakfast yg i asked to tapau.smsed jer.miscalled jer gege anis bakrin.luckily got line digi.itu pun 1-2 bar or none at all.i loved the scenery from the chalet's balcony.went for briefing for climber at the balsam restaurant.the speaker speaked english but not very well(imagine org dusun kampung trying to speak very good english without BM in it).is oso a 'softie' guy;p had a bad&hard time sleeping dat nite coz mummy snored all the way.i dun tink i actually manage to sleep strait one hour.mayb bangun tidur repeatedly.shared the room wt papa n mummy.

went up to gunung kinabalu and reached the peak...again..for the third time...3 years in a row..feb 2003, march 2004, april 2005. VERY good weather.clear sky and very nice view.despite the wind once in a whil la.got a very good view of gunung trusmadi of tambunan(yes tambunan!), mt kinabalu gold course, desa cattle, some villages and i tink ranau and kundasang town.tot i would rain but it didnt.

went with the senior citizens.a 'reunion' of st xaverian's from penang.oso joined in are the wives, relatives, mutual friends.so ALL are tua-tua and i am the yougest(and the smallest).most of them are first timers in climbing mt kinabalu and first time in sabah.i tink all of them very very established ppl and well to do(they stayed in promenade man!and we stayed at chalets providing Each a bed,no sharing). 19 climbers(plus me), the 16(?) rest stayed back at national park.papa was one of the organizers coz one of them in d group used to work in agriculture.

i am the most trusted girlfriend for jeremy.he just told me.hahaha...he is so chicken to get closer to the girl he likes at college.so he ended up going single to his recent IMU Ball.and then got drunk after.

made passport on tue but didnt bring money(buduh kan).so i went back again the next day to pay up.luckily the staff is a sport and say i can come back the next day but can still hand up my form and documents first.i needn't tke a nombor giliran when i went to pay.dat was Good coz so byk ppl thr and it tak sanggup nak wait long long time;p

on tues i went in afternoon so okay la coz not many ppl by late afternoon.then it rained so i cant walk back to cp.

after paying the passpot jz nw(rm300) went back to cp(luckily not raining like on tues), took my time to walk and looked at the window display of a shop in city parade.was sooo much concentrating on looking at the "coca cola" collectibles that i kena 'kacau' by non other than Jomius!(fie, fion, dea..i tink u remember him.the one who vane and fie went crazy at bk last time at cp when we went out after our clubbing nite).heh he was wt a friend, Will, who were going arnd cp for lepaking.so i followed them(or they teman me) go find torch light.pusing pusing up and down.heh felt a bit uneasy coz joe was kinda ignoring and leave bhind his friends while he was talking to me.i should be happy to be able to meet and talk to joe after like 3-4 mths(the last time we met for a movie in january).but i dun think the 'spark' is there for me anymore.unlike during martrix and a while after that.haha...those dayz...i was so blur blur that remembering it now makes me wana slap myself till pengsan and forget all those stoopid dayz of my life.joe was glad though to meet me.he was like acting to wipe tears from his eyes when i said i was out alone today when he asked if i was with anybody today or not.haha...i duno y he did dat.

wats with me and joe now?i duno.used to like him tho.but i tink last time i oredi decided to terima kenyataan that i cant just wait for him to come to me anyways(even IF he knows that i did[past tense] like him before).i tink its like we are more comfortable as friends.even as friends we do meet up enough to exchange many stories and talk a lot.isnt dat enough for a good relationship without actualy "jadi"?

watch shall we dance wt gege today.he belanja, but actually kinda paying me back coz i paid the tickets the last time we went for a movie.went in late coz was eating lunch.

richard gere, jennifer lopez, susan sarandon.
the story kinda confusing about which is actually the Main story.is it about john clark(gere) who suka paulina(jlo) or is it abt him liking dancing or izit abt the issues abt him and his wife(sarandon)?entah lah which one is the Main thing.but oka juga the ending but i duno the 'connection' of john clark and paulina when she 'feels' again abt taking part in dancing competition.the only thing i look forward to the movie is the dancing part.the jalan cerita is not really good.

i tink i'm in a bad mood.and having a bad stomach.having a bad day.having kinda bad memories coz was looking through all my photos during matrix.was rearranging all my pix since form 2 uptil form 5.then have one big album just for matrix pix alone.looking at all the pix, i remember i had made many mistakes and made a fool out of myself.i WISH i can WIPE dat matrix year memories out of my head but there some nice once too.but in my mind, i thought lots ppl hated me or disliked me.dats y i started as a lone girl in kik and ended 'lone' anyway.sheesh..soooo many pix that.its tells my whole life in matrix from oreientation until the matrix nite dinner until the gunung kinabalu trip with the matrix mates.sheeshhh..if i just give sumone the album to look through, i tink dat person understand the jalan cerita of my matrix life by just lloking at the pictures.[i tink i have a flare of arrangging the pic in sequence, as in according to the date/time events happening.did it for most of the form2-5 pix as well].i feel like crying and slaping myself when looking at the pictures.i once made a pact not to c the pix again since i was in labuan and all the memories came rushing back in immediatly when i see the pix.

(same goes for the ones in labuan,the pix of "those days".i kept it 'stored' in labuan.if not i'll be miserable looking at the album itself,not even d pix.sumtimes i can suddenly cry when looking at those pix.damnit.the memory.i can't forget it.it was 'beautiful' but it had to end so fast.).

i tink i have better memories pix of uni.my 2nd gunung kinabalu trip pix was ok.i may not want to take so many pix again coz i will definitely remember too many bad memories as well.uni life is lonely as well.but ppl just cant leave u along when u want a silent life.but kenot be silent all the time oso.group work so malas me oredi.i just cant seem to get a 'ngam' group.either for projects/assignment or hang out.until now, it is always that when i do get to meet a friend and get to be close and finally get to a point where i can really really trust them, they disappoint me and sorta 'leave' me.so there goes all my stories with them.i'm not surprised if i was diumpat afterthen.

didnt go online for the past 2 days coz phone line out.maybe they were reparing or sumthing.heh so tension.so used to sleep late to online.but whn kenot online, terpaksa sleep early.then kenot sleep awal pun.so i made myself occupied by reading my harry potter book.the order of the phoenix.chapter 5 oredi.heh bought it from kl last time.asked liza(coursemate) to buy it for me.she got it for 50% discount!best kan?hehe...she gave it to me in first sem but i never got to read it.so send back to kk.let it sit in kk first.then i remembered it and started reading it.quite slow though.i'm a slow reader.y?coz i imagine while i read(goo imagination?not really).so will tend to read over and over some particular paragraph or so.but nw since phone line's ok, so i online lor;p but even with not goign onlinei sleep early.but the difference is i can wake up earlier than before;p gota get the effort to wake up early.too much sleep causes me to be lazy the later parts of the day;p

hry ptr actyly rminds me of bbnn;p

the ---> ;p <-- asalnya from him,i got used to use it since he Used to sms me.he used it in his msgs all the time;p

same goes for "heh"

i hate it when the tv stations(or rather the sensorship boards in malaysia) sensor every tiny bit of "obscene" stuff.i mean even the video clip kena sensor.if like the girls in the video are wearing low cut blouses, they make this small blurred box that follows 'that sensored section' all around in the vido.its so annoying.u cant enjoy watching the video having the boxes all the time covering up the chest.even the armpit is sensored if the girl is wearing a sleeveless top and the shoot of the clip is side ways.the bare belly button oso kena sensored.if the scene lama that showing the belly button, lama la juga that 'blur box' there melekat the the perut of the girl.alang alang tak payah show the video clip altogther lor!and if That kena sensor, how come they are still showing those tv infomercials about trimming the body yg show women in bikinis?that tidak kena sensored langsung.and beside, its all crap.u tink those ppl actually ate all those trimming stuff and were fat before.n oso if the malaysian redo the infomercials, its so fake and their pictures difference of before and after they took the body trimming stuff is so not real and macam no difference langsung.they actually use a corset or tuck in their tummy anyway when taking the 'after' picture.i oso can do dat wat.so stupid.those ppl just dont know the healthy way of life.eating those expensive body trimming stuff is so crap.there's even one device u use it like a hoola hoop but its macam a big spring ring.u swing it aroung ur waist and u get to trim u fatty tummy.how crappy can it get!